so... today i subbed for special ed in middle school. i mean REAL special ... i was in shock the first half the day. literally , i didnt even know what to think. or do. or say. i was just in complete shock. i was like speechless. like a few kids in the class. at first, when the bell rang i was pretty worried. nobody was there... not any of the 3 aides i was told about, and no students either. i didnt know the office extention and i didnt know if maybe i was in the wrong room, but i thought i was in the right place... so i waited, and then come some wheel chairs. i felt a little better when they showed up a few minutes later. i was in the least functioning of the special ed classes...there were 5 kids (i just remembered i forgot to turn in attendance) and 3 of the 5 were in wheelchairs that they were strapped to and like had VERY little control if any over their body, they were drooling, and couldnt control their limbs and could only make weird noises. it was actually kind of funny, this one kids named stephen always made a lot of noises, but i didnt know if he understood people or not, so i was asking one of the aides, and the other aide was helping another student and wasnt really listening but was, and i asked the aide next to me "does he understand , like what his name is and things like that ?" and the aide that wasnt by me, helping the student, overheard, and was like "because his last name is garcia?" and i looked at the aide next to me like "what?" and i was like "no ..." and i was thinking in my head "no because he doesnt seem to understand anything..." and then me and the aide next to me started laughing, and this other aide realized her mistake (she knew this student ). anyways it was really funny. she was thinking at first i was asking if he understood spanish, and she said because his last name is garcia because he isnt spanish i dont think... it was funny. and then the other 2 students didnt talk , and were sort of like just roaming the classroom picking something up every now and then. one of the kids liked to throw stuff, and the other liked to tip over chairs. at first i was thinking, why? thats all i could muster in my brain.. i was like thinking if God wanted them to be healed, they would be normal instantly. and then i thought, but he doesnt. there is a reason they are being protected from Satan. they are like little children, satan cant touch them. they must have been very righteous before they were born. they have a golden ticket straight to the top. so in that way, they are very lucky and very blessed. but i dont envy them at all...i felt very ungrateful for my body and mind being around those kids. i have complete control of both, and i think i take that for granted most of the time. i get caught up in little things and i miss the big picture. just being able to eat food that isnt spoon fed to me from a gerber baby can. ...
so tomarrow i am subbing my first middle school non special ed class. its 7th grade language arts, aka english. we'll see how that goes!! im a little nervous cause i've never subbed normal middle school before. i will get a new class every hour and a half i believe, they have a /b day schedule. one class on day A, a different class on day B. anyways, well im gona go!